.. I just shot him. If I'd been less tired, if I'd been less pissed off in general at cave men, if I'd been another person, I might have just yelled at him some more. Instead, I shot him and let the scouts take care of the body. I didn't know if he had a family, but I knew that there was enough food. So, screw it. Julie looked at me with new eyes and I didn't quite know what to make of it.October 15th — We left outpost six. What came next was the long defile down toward the river valley. We followed the ruts from the prior trip. When we got to the long hills that we had to rope our way down, it started to rain and the trail turned to mud. The process took a lot longer than we had anticipated. It took four full days of work in the cold fall rains to get the wagons down safely. The weather was taking on a distinct coldness in the evenings, and the days are a lot shorter now than on the last trip down. Everything was taking longer and we could hear more predators off in the distance.. I blame myself for what happened, not you."He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, nervously, his hand still on the doorknob. "Did you tell your husband? I mean, do you have to tell him?" I haven't had the guts to tell him yet but I think that I must. It's eating at my insides." Who else knows? I won't tell anyone. Can't you pretend it didn't happen?" What do you take me for? Do you think I'm a slut with no scruples? I have to tell him." I'm sorry Mrs. Hiller." He pulled the door open and was taking the first step to leave when I caught up with him. I placed my hand over his on the doorknob and pushed the door shut."Don't be sorry for me and please call me Sarah," I said, pushing my body against his and my arms around his neck to make him forget about leaving, if only for a few minutes."I really have to go," his breath warm on my neck, "Sarah," he finished the sentence. I could feel his hands on my shoulders, about to push me away.At that moment I didn't want him to push me.
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